Getting married

Most friends I have are just waiting to grow up and get married in time. Me too! (damn it)

I was waiting for a marriage proposal for years but did not come true. We had financial stability and maybe all men are the same - They are never ready and never will be. So I stuffed myself with work, grew very independent at his absence, and gradually I realized that I am happy by myself.

Something about why girls love the idea of getting married:

1. My future will be safe and we can start a family at a young age
2. I will be the luckiest girl on earth because my sweetheart proposed to me when we’re still young, it means he knows that I’m THE ONE
3. I will be envied by everybody else - MUAHAHAHAHA

Yes I know it’s crazy to want to get married at such a young age, but somehow I just want it. I want to be the most beautiful bride in the world. I want to wear a wedding gown at the peak of my youth. I want to scoff at my ex and tell him, “You suck”.

Maybe all I want is to own a person wholly.

I have gone to the extent of documenting a proposal of my wedding, from the groom’s attire, to the flower choice for the bouquet, venue choice to decorations, invitation listsss, etc etc!
Yes I am almost shameless to want somebody to marry me! This proposal was regularly updated for almost 3 years and I might not have already perfected it! hahaha

Of course, things have changed now.

As of now, I have passed the age of dying to get married. The more exposed I am to the world, the more I want for myself and the more selfish I have become.